Share? NOOOOO!

Dear Parents out there, do you know what is the best way to get your toddler interested in their toys which they have long forgotten about? I know! That is to introduce “competition”. Hmmm somehow we can apply the theories we learn in economics to child raising.

Declan looses interest in his toys faster than you can blink your eyes. Toys which he has easy access to, he simply ignore their presence or at most will just meddle with them for a while before he roams away to hunt for other things to mess with and destroy.

Last night, we discovered a way to rekindle his “flame” for his toys again. The secret is to let another toddler play with his toys right in front of him. A distant cousin of Declan came to our house last night. His caregiver fished out some of Declan’s toys for the little boy to keep him entertain. Declan didn’t give two hoots on the presence of another toddler until he eyed him playing with HIS toys. He crawled over with a speed which will put the world’s top sprinter to shame and grabbed hold of whatever toys his little fists could hold on to and eyed the other fellow with hostility.

We were all pretty amused with his act of possessiveness. We told him gently that he must learn to share his stuffs but all those advices fell onto deaf ears. He just refused to let go. So, we brought out other toys to give “his competitor” while Declan held onto the other load with his dear life. The moment that boy touched the new load of toys, Declan let go of whatever he was holding on to and decided that those which “his competitor” were playing with seemed more interesting. -_-“

He would pulled the toys toward himself and if the other boy also refused to let go, he would grasped the toy tightly, screamed and turned back his head to look at his ah ma with pleading puppy eyes, seemingly to ask his ah ma to help him gained back the possession of his toys. This boy of mine, simply refuse to share. It was really an interesting sight.

Some parents may feel embarrassed over the selfishness of their little toddlers. However, to me, this is just a phase of their development. In fact, Stephen R. Covey had the same experience with his daughter and he initially felt embarrassed but after some soul searching he realized that, the toddlers must learnt a sense of possession before he/she can learn to share. (This was briefly mentioned in his “7 habits” book). That sounds logical to me. I am not at all disturbed by his expression of possessiveness. All I did was to keep reminding him that he should share.

Interestingly, we noticed that he has no problem sharing his things with his elder female cousin, Evelyn. However, he refused to share with Keith or that distant cousin who is a boy. Is it a gender thingy?? In fact he will share his snack with me and whoever asked him for a bite of his snack, he’ll generously feed you personally. But this privilege does not extend to Keith (one of his cousin). Weird… A little Casanova in the making?? I better keep my finger cross that it is not!