Parenting Tips I Learnt

Just finished reading this book.



Learnt 2 things from this book:

(1) "Praise in public, criticize in private"

From my observations, a lot of parents neglected the fact that kids (no matter how young they are) do have some sense of self-esteem and ego. Many parents commit the mistake of critising the shortcomings of their own children in the public and very often in the presence of the little ones' friends.


I remembered vividly when I was in K1, a conversation between my mum and her friend. She told her friend :" I tell you ahhh, next time ahhh I can never depend on this girl to feed me one ahhh! she ahhh no use one! Her younger sister is better, I think I can only depend on the younger one!"

"OUCH" I was only 5 years old then, what did I do for her to conclude that I won't be able to do my part as a daughter? Since young, I was always the quiet girl who got bullied by my younger sister and yet she's the one who would get all the new toys. My sister was only 2 years old when my mum said that to her friend.

Ain't it shocking that a 5 year old girl would carry what her mum said for 20 over years? I'm shocked too. I have bad memory, but yet I remembered that conversation as if it just happen yesterday.

Today, I am proud to say that, it is her useless daughter who is keeping her employed and it is also this useless daughter who she'll run to whenever she needs help to solve some problems or run some errand.

So parents, heed the book's teaching and my advice to think twice before you speak in front of your child. You do not want them to grow up thinking they are not being loved and to dampen their self-worth.


(2) "When discussing consequences, don't make threats that are outright lies ("If you do that again, the police will take you away" etc.) Futhermore, don't issue a warning involving a consequence you are not actually willing to carry put."

"If you don't behave ahhhh later the policeman will come and catch you!"
"You anyhow run lah, go lah! later bangali come and catch you!'
"you noti somemore!! I don't want you liao, sell you to bangali!"
Don't the above threats sound so familiar?

Threaten the kids with those for repeated times and they will soon learn that those are just empty threats which will never materialise.

"if you don't behave, we will cancel our trip to disneyland"
"if you don't behave, we will all go shopping and leave you at home alone"
Before you spew similar threats, do ask yourself are you really going to cancel the whole trip? Is it fair to penalize the rest of the family members for the mischief of 1 child? If you are not prepared to really cancel the trip, then think of some other forms of penalty. I don't think many parents will feel at ease leaving a naughty child home alone while the rest go shopping as a form of punishment. He/she may be up to more mischief and ended up with regrettable consequence if left at home.